You know how it can be so easy to feel like a total fuck up? Like even when things are OK on the outside, you still feel like you are missing something, doing something wrong, off the beam.
When those moments pop up for me, my sponsor usually tells me "That's your alcoholism." I can appreciate this. It has a way of right-sizing the feeling. Like, "Oh, this is just my alcoholism. I don't have to believe it or act on it." It can be helpful.
But, after while, it's actually harmful. Because the message is essentially this: There is (and will always be) something wrong with you (alcoholism). You know what to do (change the way you feel). Go do it (work harder).
This narrative - that alcoholics are perpetually sick and need perpetual fixing - is so ingrained in AA. "As an alcoholic, you are _____." [What is it for you? Rotten, bad, poorly wired, sick.]
"Look at all the other people who can handle life. But not you. You need to take your medicine - fix yourself - to function in society."
All responsibility lies squarely on the individual. All the social aspects of human nature are stripped from the narrative. We are no longer the products of systems, no longer human.
Have you seen those posts on capitalism? "The system isn't broken - it's working exactly as it was designed to."
Well, your response to the world isn't broken either. You are responding exactly as you were designed to.
What could be different for you if you believed that as alcoholics you aren't sick?
What if we are functioning exactly as we are supposed to?
What could your life feel like if you truly believed there is nothing wrong with you?
Releasing the hold of perfectionism.
Replacing anxiety with self-trust.
Living with vitality and purpose knowing that not only is there nothing wrong with you, but that you are an amazing, fascinating human on a soul journey.
This isn't about neutralizing the bad stuff. Please don't sell yourself short.
This is about alchemizing all that self-harm [the shame, pain, confusion, isolation] into a power that nurtures and honors every part of you. Into a fire that fuels you on your soul's journey.
Sound impossible?
I have spent over a decade reworking the steps into a blueprint for a soul-led, transformative journey back home to your true self.
By recognizing alcoholism as a sign of deep humanity and spiritual wisdom, I help my clients connect with their higher purpose and view their journey—including addiction—as an integral part of their growth.
I will say this again and again, alcoholism isn't a fuck up.
My transformative sobriety coaching combines an anti-capitalist, needs-based perspective with a reimagined version of the 12 steps, offering belonging and clarity for those who feel stifled by traditional recovery frameworks but don't want to leave 12-Step recovery.
I have mastered a soulful, non-judgmental approach to sobriety coaching for women in long-term recovery and I want to share it with everyone who feels called to more.
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