Transformational Sobriety Coaching
Combining a trauma informed approach to the 12 steps with coaching techniques, we work to discover and implement the next chapter of your recovery.
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Twelve step recovery work is - at its core - kind and loving. But the program is transmitted in our modern world by human beings awash in the values and understandings of pressure and shame.
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Too often there is a belief that as alcoholics we are bad, we have no one to blame but ourselves and by working hard to remove our character defects we can become good.
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But what if we embrace the belief that as children we did exactly what we needed to do to survive? We adopted the beliefs of our caregivers and community and took certain necessary actions to get our very valid human needs met.
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Holding this blameless and compassionate view of our origins while journeying through the 12 steps we create a phenomenal path back to our first and truest self.
Are you wanting to embody a life beyond your wildest dreams?
Are you longing to feel connected to spirit (god, goddess, HP, the universe, God, the oneness, or whatever your conception is of a power greater than yourself), to feel comfortable in your own skin and to experience a sense of aliveness as full as your addiction was dark?
Then let's rework the 12 steps with a renewed sense of curiosity, devotion and connection. There you will find the blueprint for your most spacious, precious life - a life in which you have great capacity for joy, grief, passion, connection, ease and delight.
Alcoholism isn't a series of human failings. It was your deepest wisdom keeping you alive.
Emergent Aliveness Coaching:
Experiments with Delight
We all need to be witnessed and supported through our life transitions. These transitions are meant to be vehicles for transformation. Yet without community, rites of passages and ceremony we lack the support to fully embody them and can be left feeling stuck and wondering what’s wrong with us.
Whether you are deep into a change, feeling like something has to give, or just beginning to sense something ready to emerge, I offer a safe, non-judgemental space in which it is all about you.
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I will show up with my listening skills, compassionate curiosity and devotion to clarity. You show up with your willingness and vulnerability. Together we will co-create a container in which you can connect with your deepest wisdom, imagine your truest future and experience the integrity, authenticity and aliveness of your most precious life.
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Curiosity is our impulse to engage with life.
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Imagination and ritual are our connections to our deepest knowing, to the universe and god-consciousness. They are how we contextualize the thread of our selves within the vast fabric of existence.
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Delight is the by-product of our attending.
These are the vitalizing forces of our beings, the sacred essence of our humanity. With them any change is a vehicle for transformation and an invitation into belonging, liberation, and full aliveness.
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If you are feeling the longing for more or different, reach out.
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"We each have an appointment with ourselves, though most of us never show up for it." James Hollis
Sober Curious:
If you are sensing that alcohol or drugs are consuming more of your resources and bandwidth than you are comfortable with, it may be time to experiment with sobriety. That resource drain can take a ton of forms.
Hangovers, money spent on drinks, and the mental gymnastics of hiding, lying and sneaking are some of the most obvious. More insidious are the ways that dependence on alcohol affects us on an emotional and spiritual level.
That nagging feeling that something is wrong with you.
A heartfelt commitment to change that never goes anywhere.
No longer being about to trust yourself, your beliefs, your will.
That feeling that you are better than the behaviors you exhibit and the situations you wind up in.
The disappointment in life. "I just always thought it would be different than this."
If you identify with any of this than you are probably also like pretty much every other person who has drank too much and contemplated stopping: stuck between a rock and hard place, knowing on the one hand that something's gotta give while the solutions all feel impossible.
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With gentleness and curiosity we investigate your relationship with alcohol or other substances.
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Beyond the labels, stigma, shame and blame, we look with compassion and love at where you are and what - with love and support - could be possible.
Some of the questions we will ask are:
​When you are reaching for a drink, what need are you looking to meet?
How else can you meet your needs?
​What parts of you are ready to emerge and is alcohol in the way?
What next steps are in alignment with your deepest desires for your life?
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A note about my experience. I drank excessively and was emotionally dependent on alcohol and drugs for 15 years. I have been in the darkest shadows of addiction and made it through. And over the past 13 years I have walked the path out of addiction with women of all walks of life and backgrounds. I know it is possible and that the rewards are far greater than what we can imagine.
That being said, I have no agenda and do not pressure anyone to get sober using the means I used or to get sober at all. Period. It is entirely your decision to be made in the time and space of your choosing.
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What I offer is a safe container to explore and get really clear about what your relationship to alcohol is, what your needs are and what you want for your life. I support you in seeing what is so you can move into what is possible.
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Still feeling curious? Let's get you some answers.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
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Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
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- Rilke
Motherhood:
The Inner Quest
When motherhood is approached as a transformational experience it can bring us deeper into wholeness and aliveness than almost any other life event. But when we are stripped of the support and framework we need as humans, motherhood can become a traumatic rupture to the self that leaves us feeling burned out, guilty, overwhelmed, and bored, struggling with perfectionism, pressure, resentment and a feeling of not being enough.
Through curiosity, support and ritual we can create the spaciousness for you to grieve the separation from and separateness of your children, to repair the bridge back to your authentic self and to imagine a new future. You gain permission to say no and be human.
This is both selfish and abundantly generous. Our children need us in all our humanness. As do we. As does the world.
Are you ready to let go of the pressure to be some idealized projection of the perfect mother and step into your authentic self?
Are you ready to feel like you are enough?
Are you ready to know deep down at the core of your being that your needs are valid, valuable and can be met?
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Reach out. It is all possible.